TEA

I have started drinking tea.  I don’t really like it!  I like coffee, strong black coffee, espresso ideally.  But I have found that I really can’t drink it after noon or I just do not sleep. 

The reason I have started drinking tea is because I am trying to fit in.  People drink tea.  They are a bit weird about it with their ‘teaspoon of milk’ or ‘just wave the bag over the cup’ and their ‘two and a half sugars please.’  Anyway it appears to be a social thing as much as anything so in a vain attempt to be ‘part of the team’ I have started saying ‘Yes please’ as an answer to the query ‘Tea?’ instead of ‘Yugh! Why would you?’  I’d like to say that I really like tea and it’s changed my life.  But it’s still a bit yucky.  It’s all right but I could give it up tomorrow or right now!  But I mustn’t ‘I need to fit in’.  So I am drinking tea.  Small thing I know, but I do think it’s a bit needy of me. 

It’s because I have been told that I need to fit in.  It’s all part of being in a team.  Being a valuable member of staff.  Valuable or valued? I think it’s a bit of a lie myself about the value of people in some school teams.  Because if for whatever reason you go off sick you are soon replaced.  I know you have to be – I get that entirely before the point is made about the children needing a teacher in that class (actually there’s a whole question for 5X5X5 there!) but our place is like Chile in the 70s we have our own ‘disappeared’ – teachers do just vanish and nothing is said.

Actually my main motivation for trying this whole team thing is otherwise I am going to be stuck on the same pay level for the rest of my career (Ha! Career? I crack myself up sometimes?).  Though I think it says something about my attitude, understanding of money, that I have been 6 years on the same pay grade (apart from the 40% reduction along with the 40% in hours) and not noticed! D’oh!  I thought that UPS1 was a pay band and there were points within it … But there aren’t! Oh dear? 

Anyway to progress you have to be an extrovert. No sorry I mean you have to make substantial contributions to the school.  All a bit tricky on a part time contract, even trickier if you thought you were making a contribution and nobody noticed.  Actually there is almost no difference between UPS1 and UPS2 in terms of expectations. 

The sad thing is I am drinking tea because I am trying to fit in and be liked.

There’s no I in team but there is me! And tea! And meat.