You know how you agree to do something because it seemed like a good idea at the time and it was a long way off and then it's a couple of days away and suddenly it seems like not so much.
I am supposed to be attending a 'farewell assembly' on Monday 22May afternoon. Having second thoughts. I guess I'm doing it for others not for myself. It really is the last thing I want to do. I'm suppose I'm hoping for some sort of closure at best ... at worst I'll get fed. So long as I'm not expected to say too much - because I might just say too much.
There's part of me that wants to 'rage against' the whole unfairness of it all, it's not like I'm the first person this has happened to and although I may hope to the contrary I won't be the last. It's surprising how quickly you can outlive your perceived usefulness and although the management have a responsibility to 'help' it's really just lip service. I have to doubt the wisdom of a system where when you fail an observation you get another observation - yay!
That and I'm basically paranoid.
It will be ok..
ReplyDeleteGuess you dont care what i say, as you never say a word back.. but.. I heard so many of our staff saying that it's not fair, how good you were and that they liked you and miss you..
ReplyDeleteSometimes the painful sorrow of feeling sorry for yourself is all one wants to feel (i often like to hurt myself with my own painful thoughts too), But if you can, try to see this Monday not as a time with those who chose to let you go, but those (big and small) who loved you..
Guess you dont care what i say, as you never say a word back.. but.. I heard so many of our staff saying that it's not fair, how good you were and that they liked you and miss you..
ReplyDeleteSometimes the painful sorrow of feeling sorry for yourself is all one wants to feel (i often like to hurt myself with my own painful thoughts too), But if you can, try to see this Monday not as a time with those who chose to let you go, but those (big and small) who loved you..
It will be ok..
ReplyDeleteSuzana thanks for your responses and comments. I am very aware that you are still working in that situation and I am not always rational in my thoughts feelings about what I feel happened to me. So I don't want to 'poison' anyone's mind re the management of St A's with issues that are largely my own. No offence intended
ReplyDelete:) thank you Mark.. but you don't have to be worried about poisoning me :) I'm quite a strong person and can handle different opinions of different people so you don't mean any harm to me in any way.. In some things you might be right and in some things you might be wrong I just wanted to show you that things and people are not only bad..
DeleteI think I'm very similar to you in many things and so can understand how hard it can be to make new friends and open up and show the fragile insecure parts of us to others.. I just though you might like someone who cares and accepts people the way they are if you wanted to speak to someone instead of just posting thoughts here.. But I understand you might prefer the latter..
and maybe I'm in need of a friend myself..
ReplyDeleteand maybe I'm in need of a friend myself..
ReplyDelete